tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8290975552619771562024-03-05T02:26:15.241-08:00Coz' I am a gypsy...In search of a change. Every now and then.gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-20330618748020741652014-08-12T21:58:00.002-07:002014-08-12T21:58:37.568-07:00Yowoto: The New ABC Of Parenting: B For Beauty <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Dear daughter,</span></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">You are beautiful, my daughter. You are my gift from god. You are my lesson to learn.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We have family, friends, relatives and random people coming in and going out of our lives. All of these people and more besides constantly walk up to us, saying, “Oh! Your daughter is so pretty.” Even better, they go to you and say, “Oh, you are so cute! Such a beautiful child.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #444444;">Read the complete letter </span><span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.yowoto.com/posts/the-new-abc-of-parenting-b-for-beauty" target="_blank">here</a></u></span><span style="color: #444444;">.</span></span></div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-40416953312038312132014-08-12T21:55:00.002-07:002014-08-12T21:55:25.886-07:00Parentous: Goddess Of Small Things (August 2nd)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So, I think. I always think. What lessons am I imparting to my daughter? Motherhood has been a great teacher. I have been unlearning some old lessons and learning a few new. I have found answers to some old questions, while I seem to have discovered a new queries.</span></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #444444;">Read the complete article </span><span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.parentous.com/2014/08/02/goddess-small-things-teach-child-appreciation/" target="_blank">here</a></u></span><span style="color: #444444;">.</span></span></div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-60617810990270629342014-08-12T21:51:00.002-07:002014-08-12T21:51:44.555-07:00Parentous: We've arrived. Have we? (July 11th)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.</span></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">They come through you, but not from you.</span></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.</span></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">You may house their bodies, but not souls.</span></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">– Khalil Gibran</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #444444;">Read the complete article </span><span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.parentous.com/2014/07/11/we-have-arrived-parenting-is-a-journey/" target="_blank">here</a></u></span><span style="color: #444444;">.</span></span></div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-83685589442344599982014-08-12T21:48:00.002-07:002014-08-12T21:48:35.867-07:00Parentous: I Hate The Monster, But I Love My Child More (July 21st)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s always been there. Some speak about it. Some do not. Most often, we do not. It gives us that unsettling feeling. A feeling of oh-i-wish-i-did-not-have-to-talk-about-it.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We’ve skirted it way beyond we should have. We have saved our society from the blames it deserves. We kept thinking this will never come back to haunt us. But its ugly face appears every now and then. The monster is here to stay. With its long hands that enter people’s lives. And scars it for a moment. For a while. Sometimes, I hate to accept this, but for a lifetime.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Read the complete article <span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.parentous.com/2014/07/21/hate-monster-love-child-child-sexual-abuse/" target="_blank">here</a></u></span>.</span></div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-69050603634507982772014-08-12T21:44:00.002-07:002014-08-12T21:49:11.651-07:00Yowoto: A Letter To The Bangalore Child Rapist<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px;">
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Mr Rapist,</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Oh! You don’t like being addressed like that? Too bad. That’s all that you will be known as from now on. This is your identity for eternity. This is what will define you and your life. No matter how cool your actual name might sound, or how much effort your parents may have taken for finding the perfect name for you, from this moment on, none of it will matter. You will always be known as an abuser/rapist/molester. Fancy names, no?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Read the complete letter <span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.yowoto.com/posts/a-letter-to-the-bangalore-child-rapist" target="_blank">here</a></u></span>.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-51853069260661854272014-08-12T21:37:00.003-07:002014-08-12T21:44:47.347-07:00Yowoto: The New ABC Of Parenting: A for Apology (July 10th)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Dear daughter,</span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">‘Sorry’ is a beautiful word. Every time I hear you say that word, you grow in my eyes. Every time anyone says that word with sincerity, that person grows, a tad bit, in my eyes.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Read the complete letter <span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.yowoto.com/posts/the-new-abc-of-parenting-a-for-apology" target="_blank">here</a></u></span>.</span></div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-20664635683545464492014-08-12T21:32:00.003-07:002014-08-12T21:33:58.634-07:00The Alternative: My first post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">There are days, when I fail to respect and follow anything that I have taught her. There are days when someone we know closely behaves unusually. And then she asks me, “Amma, why did you/s/he do that? That is bad.” I know, I say. And I apologise. And I have tears in my eyes having realised that I did not or could not control an emotion of mine, which led to this action.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Myriad Pro', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 30px;">Read the complete write up <a href="http://www.thealternative.in/lifestyle/why-is-talking-about-emotions-more-dreaded-by-parents-than-kids-using-the-f-word/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a>.</span></div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-22348605700062198152014-08-12T21:29:00.001-07:002014-08-12T21:30:06.120-07:00Dead air<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a while since I've dropped by my blog. I know. It's nothing to take pride in. But in the meanwhile, I've been writing. Let me now link the write ups here, from my blog.<br />
<br />
Have a good day!</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-63752019449881890822014-05-23T04:45:00.001-07:002014-05-23T04:45:15.734-07:00My best friend. She.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
I am participating in Diane DeBella’s #iamsubject project <a href="http://www.iamsubject.com/the-iamsubject-project/">http://www.iamsubject.com/the-iamsubject-project/</a>. Here is my #iamsubject story.<br />
<br />
My parents chose to call me Rashmi. I am an Indian. Born and brought up in the Middle East.<br />
<br />
I lived a normal life. I saw my father and mother struggle to bring up their daughters. As I grew up, I was in love with words. I felt a strong sense of power in words, which I could never identify in any other element of life. I had a zillion questions in my head and heart, as I grew. I grew up to believe that I could steer my life the way I wished to and nothing else had the power to do so.<br />
<br />
Until about I turned 26, life was struggle. And I think today, it was a struggle that I created for myself. <br />
<br />
I loved people. I loved having more than enough of them in my life too. But not many of them, I felt, connected with me. As a teenager, I was a rebel. I always thought no one understood me. I always had the need to fight it out with everyone. I knew I was not wrong. And I was seldom ready to let go. When people loved me immensely, I felt something against them. When they disliked or hated me, I wanted to get through to them.<br />
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My parents are very religious. And they rightly attempted to pass on the faith and feelings to their daughters. I think I followed their faith until I lived with them. But I felt uncomfortable. I felt like being pushed to God. I felt comfortable with God, but not with being pushed and punished to grow close to God. Probably that was one area in which I did not rebel much, though I am sure, my parents felt the disconnect.<br />
<br />
I grew up and every day was a little struggle within myself. I made friends, more friends and some more than just friends. As I grew, so did my need to make and keep friends. I found happiness in my friends. I found bliss in the moments I spent with my loved ones. I gave them the power to lush and crush me. Unknowingly. I gave them the option to teach or breach me. Unknowingly.<br />
<br />
There came a time in my life, where I looked into the mirror and I could not recognize myself. My life was so crowded with people and their love. It is supposed to be good, right? Yes, it was. But it had one major flaw. A flaw that I refused to recognize until I began to feel lonely. Even with so many people around, I could not be at peace. I could not create my own happiness, as I had handed over the plug to switch on and off my happiness to others.<br />
<br />
I saw that I had lots of people around me. People who tried to make me laugh and feel happy, yet I was not. My friends did their best to make me smile and stop my tears. But I continued to cry like a leaking faucet. I was such a mess. All that I was capable of was to crumble and fall on the ground like a piece of cloth. And, oh yes, cry. I was like a bunch of clothes that needed laundry, but refused to go for it. I so disliked myself like that. But I could do nothing about it.<br />
<br />
I kept crying. Kept looking for an answer. Until one fine day, I found it. No, I mean, I recognized it. I realized I will continue crying if I chose not to stop. I realized that I had to be happy, if I wished to. It struck me that I cannot be wailing and bowling, if I wanted to move forward. I cannot be living in my past, if I wanted to move ahead into my future. I cannot cling to bad memories, if I wished to stay away from it. <br />
<br />
And then I took that one step to help myself. One step led to another. And soon, I’d come a long way. <br />
<br />
I learnt that happiness is what we create. Happiness isn’t a destination, but the journey itself. Peace isn’t something we can find somewhere. It is something we create within ourselves and treasure.<br />
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I met a new person around this time. She slowly became a friend. She was very different from me then. She was a confident and happy soul. She was someone who believed in being happy and spreading it. Her smile is infectious, people told. She was accepting and forgiving. She accepted and forgave with grace. She did not question the happenings in her life and run after the answers. She simply did her best and left the rest to God. <br />
<br />
I am unable to pin point how we became the best of friends and how we are one soul now. All I need today is her. Her happiness and peace. And my life will be beautiful. Her happiness ensures people in my world are happy too. Her peace ensures, I’d go to any extend to make my loved ones feel at peace. She’s the one person I’d missed befriending all along, although I saw her every single day. She, I met her in my mirror reflection. <br />
<br /> </div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-89626033984670371062014-04-29T21:31:00.000-07:002014-04-29T21:35:25.226-07:00Building faith<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
It’s been a whole month of stories, awareness and healing. The month of April is when a bunch of ladies get together to look at a social monster in the eye. This monster is called Child sexual Abuse (CSA). We do our best to help others talk, think and act towards paralyzing this monster. It’s a very heavy month. Heavy with emotions, stories, tears and survivors. Most of all, heavy with fear. <br />
<br />
As a mother, today I wonder. What will I do starting tomorrow? Another month, another day. After an entire month of awareness campaign and talking what is right and what is not, what now? How am I going to help my daughter from the clutches of this monster. I hate to admit that the clutches are capable of reaching her too.<br />
<br />
So, we talked a lot about teaching children to use the golden word ‘no’. We talked about enabling them to be able to:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>recognise safe touch from the unsafe one.</li>
<li>respect and love their body.</li>
<li>have the courage to stay away from uncomfortable situations.</li>
<li>in control of their body.</li>
<li>respect people for their actions and not because they are older.</li>
<li>make and follow their own safety rules.</li>
<li>respect others’ safety rules.</li>
</ul>
Now, I think of a simple household scenario. A mother gives her child milk to drink. The child returns complaining it is too hot. What does she do? Say, ‘Oh, it isn’t. I know. So, drink it.’? <br />
<br />
This is the most common answer. How about thinking for a moment that maybe our ‘not so hot’ is indeed ‘hot’ to that individual? Let us try and understand that our child is a different individual and is not a part of our individualism. Or maybe, the milk isn’t really hot at all. But any way, let us maybe for a change say, ‘Oh yes, it is. Let me do something about it.’ Maybe go into the kitchen and do something/nothing about it and just bring back the milk. How do you think this will help him/her? It helps to build a trust factor. For our son/daughter to know, mamma knows that I know. <br />
<br />
When my daughter says, ‘Amma, tummy full’, while I feed her. I simply stop. Who am I to say ‘No, your tummy is not full’? Maybe she is right, maybe she isn’t. But I do know, if she is hungry, she will come back for food/snack. So, I need not be worried. No child stays hungry for any reason.<br />
<br />
Similarly, the other day – my daughter had rashes in her inner thigh. And she was crying. I was consoling her and while I told her, let me see and apply ointment, she said no (hiccups of teaching children to say ‘no’ J). What did I do? I stepped away. Did not touch her. I told her, if I need to help you, let me see and touch the rashes. But if you do not want me to, I will not. By the way, it isn’t very easy to say that. But I did. I better practice what I preach. In another 10-15 minutes, she came to me saying ‘Amma, you look and put medicine for me’.<br />
<br />
Such instances help me build faith. Helps me trust her more. And hopefully, in the process – she knows her Amma trusts her words and that she knows her body best and have the right over it.<br />
<br />
This isn’t very easy. To say no cousins/relatives, when my daughter does not like being carried by them. But I do it anyway. <br />
<br />
As I bring up my four-year-old, I am growing. As I teach her to say no, am learning the lesson too. As I teach her to respect her body, I am learning to respect mine. We are growing up together.<br />
I also want her to know that shame and respect does not live in her body. And that they are the demons within ourselves. We need to look at them in the eye and deal with them, before we face the monster outside. I want my daughter to know no part of her body is good or bad. I want her to love her body because she was born with it. It is a gift. And not have pride in it. She did not do anything towards gaining it. Let her pride reside within her thoughts and actions. So be her shame.<br />
<div>
This isn’t an easy one, for I need to get the basics right myself. But this is a journey am embarking on from this moment. A journey to meet my demons and deal with them.</div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-50094258572239496392014-03-14T04:53:00.002-07:002014-03-14T04:53:28.026-07:00Nice to meet you, Veera.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
I met Veera a few days ago. I took out time from my
wife-mother-employee role and went to meet her one evening at 9.30pm. I had no
clue what she was like or where she was going. I had no clue she would take me
on a journey with her. I had no clue I’d meet the Veera in me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Coming from Imtiaz Ali, the hype was all around the journey.
Quite literally. But this wasn’t an all-India tour. Just like that. This was
more. While Veera and Mahabir travelled across the country, they travelled
through time as well. Into their past. They travelled within themselves. They
met their selves at some point. I think Mahabir had already been there. In his
past and he dwells there. But when Veera met herself, she was nine. And then
she couldn’t return.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stockholm syndrome, they say is the centre idea of the
movie. The streak that defines Veera’s character. So not! In our country, it’s
so not. The centre idea should be the root of the syndrome. How did Veera find
happiness in captivity? Why did Veera
run back into hostage when she was given the freedom to choose? Why did
Veera trust a stranger? Why did she save herself from being sent home?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A child is to find happiness and comfort within his or her
home. A child is safe within the four walls they call home. In today’s world,
we forget that is so untrue. In today’s world, we tend to have no time or
inclination to listen to subtle messages. This story deals with a subject that
needs discussion and confrontation and sensitisation. Child Sexual Abuse.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Veera preferred strangers to living in a society where her
abusers still roamed about happily. Veera preferred vast dry lands filled to
her luxurious home. Veera preferred the show-peaked mountains and a make-do
house there with Mahabir, to her wealthy New-York based married life that is
awaiting her. She had no intentions to marry Mahabir. She simply loved him. She
simply loved the moments, mountains and movements. Yes, her ability to move in
freedom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mahabir, her kidnapper has his own story to deal with. And
such truth he’s done it with. Being the snappy, smile-less man. His one smile
towards the end of the movie brought tears to my eyes. On the other hand Veera
always found happiness in all. When she says in the end…I am a stupid and will
remain so, but I do not want to be like one of you – to her people, my respect
for her was immense.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
This movie was a visual treat and a very soul-fulfilling one
for me. When I walked out of the theatre, I knew I’d met the Veera in me too.
With more courage and will to live on my own terms coz the world won’t
understand any way!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-75626003339647000992013-09-08T21:43:00.002-07:002013-09-08T21:46:30.091-07:00Happy birthday, K.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Coming a little late...late by a week...thanks to all the technical glitches...<br />
But better late than never.<br />
<br />
This one’s for someone who loves me beyond my hopes and dreams.<br />
<br />It was your birthday yesterday and we did not get to celebrate it together. That is definitely sad. But it’s fine too. Coz I know you’ve been happy. And that’s what matters to me.<br />
<br />You have taught me a lot of things in the last five years we’ve been together. One of them being every day is a day to be in love. When I started off, anniversaries, birthdays, valentine’s days used to mean so much to me. Not being able to celebrate them with romance all around, saddened me. But you help me unlearn that lesson. You taught me being in love is more than celebrating a few days in a year. You taught me being together is about celebrating every possible day together…a few quality hours together.<br />
<br />When we met, decided to tie the knot – I was a very different person. I had a baggage. I was a little unsure about myself. But again, your respect for and trust in me, made me a better person.<br />We are poles apart. We had barely anything in common. But over the years, we’ve become good friends. As I always think and tell my friends…you are my anchor. You are the thread and I am the kite. You let me fly. You let me soar high and get a better view of things. And I do so, with a trust that I am in your hands. That you’d pull me back if I enter the danger zone. If my curiosity takes me to not-so-nice-lands.<br />
<br />I am a loud person, I think so at least…I talk a lot. Actually cannot shut up most of the times. And you are this quiet soul whom I could make no head or tail of, in the first few months of our marriage. I just did not understand how someone can be this quiet and calm and composed! It took me a while to understand we’ve been wired differently. To the benefit of our relationship. You let me talk. You let me talk my heart out. You listen. And that means a lot to me. I wonder what would’ve happened if both of us kept talking with no one to hear!<br />
<br />With you, I do not have to pretend. With you, I can get upset, sulk, be happy, crazy and be a true Gemini. And you handle all of that with such grace that am so in love with you. Your subtlety…I love it now. Your honesty, am in awe of it. <br />
<br />You have helped me unlearn a lot of lessons from the past. And you have turned me into a much better person in my own eyes (if not in front of others). You gave me my wings of freedom. You believe in me and stand by me. I am a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother (three roles more from what I played five years ago), yet I feel free. And that’s only coz of you. <br />
<br />You deserve beautiful days, especially birthdays. I hope to gift you beautiful days always. You deserve happiness and peace. <br />
<br />They say, a woman’s most treasured ornament is her man’s love. You are truly my most precious ornament. You make my soul peaceful and happy.<br />
<br />Happy birthday, Kiran. Love you.<br />
<br />
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gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-62151388780408002772013-06-23T21:59:00.000-07:002013-06-23T21:59:37.638-07:0010 Day Challenge - Day Six<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Where did my original Day 6 post go? I've been hunting, but in vain.<br />
<br />
Looks like I've lost it...So, here I am typing it out again.<br />
And this comes up as the first post, in the wrong order :P<br />
<br />
Five foods...<br />
<br />
I am so not a foodie! But I love cooking and feeding others..<br />
So, my take on five foods will be the five dishes I enjoy cooking. Cooking is therapautic for me.<br />
<br />
1. Brewing Chai - I could never live without chai and brewing it for myself at least once in a day. Drinking chai is alike a ritual for me. Silence, space, chai and me...<br />
<br />
2. Baking - Aah! This is such a recent favourite, but looks it will remain so forever. Baking cakes and breads...I have only tried bread once and it was so good. My home smelt beautiful...Baking cakes are my favourite. It turns out my daughter and I, enjoy baking together!<br />
<br />
3. Making Chapathi and dal - Making chapathi helps me feel normal. Atta, onions, tomatoes, the mess involved...all of if helps me feel normal. <br />
<br />
4. Making desserts - Custard, jelly, puddings, payasam...all of it.!<br />
<br />
5. Making sambar - I've noticed, the smell of sambar makes me happy. I wonder why though. Even as I typed this out!??<br />
<br />
Cheers<br />
R </div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-88385757603016241652013-06-23T21:50:00.002-07:002013-06-23T21:50:35.313-07:0010 Day Challenge - Day Nine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Two
songs…</div>
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<br /></div>
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Yet again, I can’t name just two songs.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The ones that come to my mind instantly, right now, are Sun raha hain na
from Ashiqui 2 and Re Kabira from Yeh Jawani Hain Diwani.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I loved the pain, the emotion, the need, desperation in that song from
Ashiqui 2. The mail rendering that is. Recently, I had this chat with a close
friend of mine and I kept telling him wah wah. He said, he’ll listen to it and
still couldn’t figure what was so great about it. And then we realised, he was
listening to the female voice and me to the male one. So, yes! The male one is
definitely better.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And
Re Kabira – I just relate to it so much, at this point in time. The one to
follow his dreams leaving behind everything else. His need to do it. The fact
that he cannot let go off his dreams and heart’s voice. No matter what he has
to face. How many of us can be him? How many of us listen to our hearts and
fight for it??</div>
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<br /></div>
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I connect with the emotions the singer exhibits through his/her voice and the lyrics... </div>
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<br /></div>
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I could listen to these songs in a loop for day together!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Cheers</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
R</div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-71692538340354832622013-06-23T21:48:00.001-07:002013-06-23T21:48:59.479-07:0010 Day Challenge - Day Eight<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Oh yes! I had all of this typed out over a few days and now I post them all together!<br />
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Three films.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet again, another tough one.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, I am not giving up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let me try. Am sure this one will not be a true true list, coz I savor
movies just for the moment and most often, it passes by me. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Asthitva: Saw this one a long time ago. With
Tabu as a protagonist, I just looked up to the character she played. The
rawness her character oozed…that’s reality. </div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Kai Po Che: I recently saw this movie and fell
in love with it. The characters were so natural…beautiful music and definitely
a beautiful movie than the book itself.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Ashiqui 2: Went for this one recently, just for
the music and I fell in love with the characters, the story, the music and came
out of the movie hall smiling. Feeling time worth spent. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Does this sound good? Lame? Ok ok?</div>
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Whatever!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Cheers</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
R :) </div>
</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-2928762884893676992013-06-23T21:47:00.000-07:002013-06-23T21:47:12.598-07:0010 Day Challenge - Day Seven<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br /></div>
Ok, I did not fare too well on this. But am getting back on the train. So, here it goes:
<b>Four books</b>
This is a very very tough one. As I cannot pick just four from the whole lot I’ve read so far…
But, such instances are necessary, I reckon. To be able to select, prioritize in life.
So, here I try:
1. The Bhagawat Gita: Yes, this is the book that has changed my outlook to life. Started reading this when I was in 8th standard, I reckon. Then, it was simply a habit. To read it alongside, when we chanted our prayers once the diya was lit in the evening. Slowly, I went on to read the meanings listed below the versus. Again, it became a habit. And then, I cannot pin point exactly when it began affecting me, influencing me. But today, I know – whatever I am, is majorly as a result of that book. Am glad to be influenced. If you have the time and inclination, read it. At the least once. With the meaning in a language you understand.
2. The Zahir: Aah, this one was a savior. A book by one of my favorite authors – Paulo Coelho. I bought this book from a roadside vendor, during the darkest phase of my life. I just needed something to read and picked it up. And yet again, this companion told me a story. A story of love. Unconditional love. To let go. And it helped me let go.
3. The Kite Runner: A well-written, well-told story. With multiple layers of emotions flowing and a very important, yet skirted subject dealt with. I could never forget this book.
4. Dr. Brian Weiss’s books: Again, I met Weiss through his books, during the darkest days of my life. One book down, I went and got another book of his. And then the third. And fourth and it never ended, until the books did. He introduced me to a life after death. To my soul. To the journey of my soul. It was a deep subject, but I found peace in it. And find peace until this day.
Cheers
R
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-58358439187111050662013-06-17T00:47:00.001-07:002013-06-17T00:47:53.037-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
</div>
<a href="http://www.blogadda.com" title="Visit blogadda.com to discover Indian blogs"> <img src="http://www.blogadda.com/images/blogadda.png" width="80" height="15" border="0" alt="Visit blogadda.com to discover Indian blogs" /></a>gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-66034145839192081782013-04-29T01:16:00.001-07:002013-04-29T01:17:30.478-07:00The blind spot.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This is a post for in association with <a href="http://csaawarenessmonth.com/" target="_blank">CSAAM</a>.<br />
<br />
Kuki,<br />
<br />
I write this as I sit in the parlour. Waiting for Angela to turn me prettier…waiting for her to do her magic. Yes, I like looking pretty. Don’t you?<br />
<br />
But as I write this, I feel lost.<br />
<br />
She was Nirbhaya and Damini a few months ago. Yesterday she was Gudiya, Masoom. Today she is another four-year-old, seven-year-old. Months ago she was a girl in her twenties and now, she is getting younger. Younger, from between her childhood.<br />
<br />
As I type this, I can’t but wonder who it will be tomorrow. And I hope there is no tomorrow. May the world end.<br />
<br />
Kuki, I will take you to a parlour when you are old enough. I will tell you to dress well and look beautiful always. To never let the world know your worries through your shabby clothes and unmade hair. Life is too short and precious to live in fear.<br />
<br />
I want you to know that you have the power to say no. To scream. No matter how old you are. It might not be in our capacity to avoid barbaric acts and crimes. But similarly, no one has the right to violate you. Or anyone.<br />
<br />
As I write this to you, I pray you never get there. But if you ever do, whoever it might be – at the hands or presence of whom you feel uncomfortable, feel free to say so. Yes, it is important that you respect elders, in fact everyone – not because they are older to you, but for their actions and thoughts. Since they are supposed to be more level-headed that you are, supposed to be more wise and experienced. But some do not learn lessons as they age, they only create lessons for others to learn from.<br />
<br />
Kuki, I might be a paranoid mother, I might be strict now and then, I might be irrational in your eyes (though I hope not) – but trust that I will always trust you. If you feel something is not right, it is more than often correct. Respect your thoughts and feelings more than you’d be tempted to as you grow up.<br />
<br />
This isn’t a perfect world to live in, Kuki. But I want you to. I wish I could change the minds of the violators, but I cannot. I can help you face this world. Face what might be expected. But there is a blind spot out there. I accept that realization with fear. A blind spot that could hurt you beyond repair, a blind spot that could constitute of people who love/hater/do not know. I pray you never get to that blind spot. And if you do, I hope your senses are wide open and alert then. And that I am accessible.<br />
<br />
No touch that feels uncomfortable is right, Kuki. No matter who touches.<br />
<br />
Never let anyone trespass you as long as you can.<br />
<br />
Love<br />
<br />
R</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-27075471842014859332013-03-08T05:18:00.002-08:002013-03-08T05:18:34.609-08:00letters 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In letters</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-44768292578255666642013-03-06T23:15:00.002-08:002013-03-08T05:53:28.564-08:00Kuki...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Kuki,<br />
<br />
You locked yourself inside the master bedroom yesterday afternoon. I haven't panicked as much in years.<br />
<br />
I knew we could get you out. I knew we could break down the door or tear it apart to get the lock out. I knew you wouldn't be there for long.<br />
<br />
B and I talked to you and tried to keep you near the door. I was worried about you wandering about that little room and something falling on you.<br />
<br />
You were calm and composed until you realised the panic in our voices :). So, yes - thanks to me that I got you worried too. That's a lesson learnt for me. Never panic in front of you, not even when you hear my voice. Yesterday, you could not obviously see me through the door - but you panicked. <br />
<br />
So, what was I worried about. I thought about it later on. I realised, I got worried because I stepped inside your shoes for a while. I thought how you'd think, I tried to understand the taruma it was causing you and got traumatised myself. Was that good or bad? I am not sure. But that is what happened.<br />
<br />
Just want you to know that whereever you might lock yourself, I will always be there to pull you out, if you wish to - that is. Your father will also be there. We will make it a point to open the door that refused to open and bring in some light and cheer. But Kuki, in life, you need to agree to get up, brush yourself and try and move on. <br />
<br />
Remember, no matter where and how, you might get stuck - you will never be there if you don't want to. I love you too much to let that happen.<br />
<br />
Love you.<br />
<br />
R.</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-66387946789227796192013-03-06T23:07:00.001-08:002013-03-06T23:07:04.396-08:0010 Day Challenge - Day Five<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Alright, so I’ve got to this.<br />
Day five. Woohooo!!<br />
<br />Six places.<br />
<br />Have I ever thought of this one? Never!<br />
<br />Now, I will.<br />
<br />1. Kuwait. I do not know why I typed that. Seriously! I don’t think that name came out because I am in love with that place. But simply because I spent my childhood there. I don’t think I like it there. I can only associate my parents and lots of my friends to that place. Nothing else. Zilch!<br />
<br />2. Guruvayoor. Yet again, I do not exactly know why this place is on the list. I just feel at home in the Guruvayoor temple. That should be it.<br />
<br />3. Bangalore. Phew! I know the reason for this one at least. I am in love with this place. It is my home. This is where I found myself. Learnt to walk and talk. Took baby steps. Fell. Got up, dusted myself and moved forward. Made friends for keeps. Met people to learn life’s lessons. This place taught me to love myself. I learnt small lessons here that would change me forever. I learnt huge ones too, that only made me stronger. <br />
<br />4. Calicut. I know this one too. A home that I never thought or expected. K’s hometown. Where his family is and where I know I am accepted and then I realised how important it is to be accepted.<br />
<br />5. Goa. Coz I am a gypsy. And I think that land is magical. The air has a spirit there. The sun, the sea and sand. It is sheer bliss there. I hope I get to go there every year, until I get to retire there.<br />
<br />6. Istanbul. Again, no particular reason. I just feel like being there. Like that land beckons me.<br />
This was a nice one. Me happy! :)</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-31059400343055033542013-03-04T20:33:00.003-08:002013-03-04T20:33:47.438-08:0010 Day Challenge - Day Four<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Seven wants<br />
<br />
I like the sound of this one. People often mistake wants for needs or they’d prefer not differentiating. But I am someone who prefers to differentiate them. Not for the sake of being genuine. But just because I’d like to know how human I am. <br />
<br />So, let me try and list them out here.<br />
<br />1. I want to learn to drive. It will make me a more independent person and give wings to my gypsy soul. <br />
<br />2. I want to have the money to raise four children. Yes, I want a house full of kids. Bliss.<br />
<br />3. I want to start a business. What business, am still contemplating.<br />
<br />4. I want to be there for my loves ones always. And I want nothing that will stop me from being there for them.<br />
<br />5. I want a queer friend. Why, you ask. I don’t know.<br />
<br />6. I want to send my parents on a tour to a few places they’ve never been to. To be able to enjoy and appreciate the beauty of other places in togetherness and love.<br />
<br />7. I want to go and visit places myself with my family. To simply experience the world out there.<br />
Hmmm, that is a pretty neat list for someone who had never thought about it so much. Now, I know what I want.</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-45270322951488236972013-03-04T20:23:00.001-08:002013-03-04T20:23:44.946-08:0010 Day Challenge - Day Three<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Eight fears<br />
<br />The F-word…hmmm.<br />
<br />This is a nice one, I’d like to try and call out my fears by their names :P<br />
<br />So, here goes the list.<br />
<br />1. I am scared of heights. Yes…looking out from a height just makes me nervous. <br />
<br />2. I think I am afraid of death. Yes. I want it to come to me suddenly. Unexpectedly. And not keep me waiting. Coz it would be dreadful waiting for a visitor whose thoughts you dread.<br />
<br />3. Roaches…cockroaches…yyiiikkeess! But lately I’ve learnt that is better to kill them than to be afraid and scream!<br />
<br />4. Am afraid of being dependent. Of being in that space where I need someone’s help all the time. Where I am nothing, but an extra task for people, even if they loved me to bits. <br />
<br />5. I cannot be in a dark room, with absolutely no source of light for more than a few minutes. I get hysterical. I scream, yell and cry. I cannot think then. I cannot talk sense then.<br />
<br />6. The previous point brings me to this one. I think I am afraid of turning blind. I have always tried to understand what am I afraid of in the dark. And I have come to learn that it is my inability to ‘see’ anything. Even if it is a mobile or torch, I just need a source of light, with me being to operate it – in the dark. And my problem is half solved. I can at least think sensibly. And stop screaming.<br />
<br />7. A phase when I might not have any friends….this sounds weird even as I type, coz I don’t understand where all my friends would go. But it just came to my mind and so I type.<br />
<br />8. I am afraid of just existing…I do not want to exist. Just breathe. I want to live to the fullest.<br />
<br />
Whoa! So, my fears are out in the open. <br />
Feels good. :)</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-24354229091076293922013-02-27T00:04:00.001-08:002013-02-27T00:04:41.954-08:0010 Day Challenge - Day Two<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
So, yes – day two.<br />
<br />
This time I write about my nine loves.<br />
<br />
Nine loves of my life (currently)<br />
<br />
1. Family. My family does not really refer to blood relations. The definition of family for me includes those <br />
people who accept me as I am and whom I enjoy spending time with. My immediate blood-related family, husband, daughter, in-laws, cousins and friends.<br />
2. Smell of books. Especially old ones from second-hand book store. <br />
3. Book shops. Kinda continuing from the earlier one, I love to be in a book stall. Those few moments, I spend looking through the books, trying to select one, reading their blurbs…they make me happy. Like, as in, bliss.<br />
4. Cooking, baking. From someone who never entered the kitchen to even place an used glass/plate in the sink, to being someone who enjoys cooking is a remarkable change. Today, I love trying new recipes, experimenting with baking and much more. Am just glad I found another element of life that keeps me happy.<br />
<br />
5. McFlurry...McFlurry...McFlurry....<br />
6. Dancing. Dancing transports me to another world. The inner one, I mean. Grooving to music and tapping my feet comes as part of my body functioning, I guess. And I love it!<br />
7. The love for self. Yes, I love myself. I take care of myself first before I can do the same for someone else. I learnt this lesson the hard way. And quite late in life. But am glad I did. Better late than never. So, today – I know, only if I am happy can I keep others truly happy and love them whole heartedly. Yes, I can go about doing my chores as a daughter, sister, wife and mother without being happy myself. But I’d never be true about it. My soul wouldn’t be in it.<br />
8. Communicating. Talking. Writing. I just need to do this to be able to live. I cannot even exist without these, I guess.<br />
9. Smell of the earth after the first shower of rain….aah! Isn’t that just bliss??<br />
So, now for the next topic. Tomorrow, maybe? Or day after?<br />
:) Keep smiling.</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-829097555261977156.post-65328677365645755212013-02-25T02:22:00.001-08:002013-02-25T02:22:31.995-08:0010-Day Challenge - Day One<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
Nice, bright Monday morning.<br />
<br />And I have chosen to take on a ten-day challenge. Hoping, it will keep me writing ;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgob0ja1Kj63nXdHyRZuJl-VqHu2A4X5IT7NZr_3MKS5IynT1GJlS4K12Qak_d_nhoRREdVKFgxN3AGLLACknqDXuXysVGYhdd-YPApW_m0yf2dLY-A98WHy9sbmMBvzi9fxPYbBw-WAyc/s1600/10daychallenge.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gsa="true" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgob0ja1Kj63nXdHyRZuJl-VqHu2A4X5IT7NZr_3MKS5IynT1GJlS4K12Qak_d_nhoRREdVKFgxN3AGLLACknqDXuXysVGYhdd-YPApW_m0yf2dLY-A98WHy9sbmMBvzi9fxPYbBw-WAyc/s320/10daychallenge.png" width="320" /></a></div>
So, here’s the first topic.<br />
Ten secrets. <br />
<br />
Aah, a forum to document my secrets, eh? Yes, will do this. As I grow, I realize there is really no need of too many secrets. So, let me try this.<br />
<br />1. I hope to write and publish a book – Aah! This is long-time wish…<br />
<br />2. I hate doing the dishes – For the past few years, I enjoy cooking. Much of an accomplishment for a lady who was a lazy teenager. However, I hate touching the dishes in the sink.<br />
<br />3. Sometime, I wonder if I have gained weight – This is a very mild scenario though. Now, and then I wonder if I have gained weight. But then, I soon get over the worry.<br />
<br />4. I can make people feel guilty and hope that the earth swallows them – Aah, talk about my fury! I have come to learn something about myself in the past few years. I can forgive, but I do not forget. That is just the way I am wired. So, if someone pushes me to the corner, I can just line up the past and you’d wanna run from the face of the earth!<br />
<br />5. I have a gypsy soul – Yes. Really. I mean this. I wonder how I am living in a house with my hubby and daughter over-powering the need for change and new experiences. I mean, I love them. They are my life. But there is a part of me that needs constant new experience.<br />
<br />6. I want to be a performer – Read dance. I simply love dance. Being up on a stage gives me a high. I do not drink but I can imagine how ‘high’ feels! So, yes – I hope to get back on stage one day.<br />
<br />7. I am in love with McFlurry (Oreo) – Discovery of Mc Flurry – an iconic event of my life! Need I say more?<br />
<br />8. I am in love with Istanbul, a place I have never been to – Yes. Never seen the place. But I am in love. And I think, thanks to <a href="http://www.elifshafak.com/" target="_blank">Elif Shafak</a>.<br />
<br />9. I want to have four children, but will settle two – Ssshhh…infact I’d have many more, if I had the money . I do not want to bring them on and not be able to provide them. So, yes. Two children and we should be able to do a good job of it.<br />
<br />10. I am slowly beginning to not make mountain efforts to keep in touch with friends who do not make much effort. And yes, one more… - This is a sad lesson I learnt. Sad, I feel. But I need to de-clutter. As we de-clutter wardrobes, cabinets – I feel I need to de-clutter my space too. So, for those who cannot make the effort – I assume you are happy and I let you be.<br />
<br />11. I love making friends from the virtual world. All my previous e-friendships have been nice ones. – Oh yes! When a few fear e-friendships, I absolutely love them. A random talk with a stranger in a public chat room. Being able to share some far-flung thoughts and feelings, without being judged or sans the fear of any after effects…it is nice sometimes. Though it has been almost 10 years since I’ve done this now!</div>
gPsYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00405281442402753648noreply@blogger.com0