Happy birthday, K.

Coming a little late...late by a week...thanks to all the technical glitches...
But better late than never.

This one’s for someone who loves me beyond my hopes and dreams.

It was your birthday yesterday and we did not get to celebrate it together. That is definitely sad. But it’s fine too. Coz I know you’ve been happy. And that’s what matters to me.

You have taught me a lot of things in the last five years we’ve been together. One of them being every day is a day to be in love. When I started off, anniversaries, birthdays, valentine’s days used to mean so much to me. Not being able to celebrate them with romance all around, saddened me. But you help me unlearn that lesson. You taught me being in love is more than celebrating a few days in a year. You taught me being together is about celebrating every possible day together…a few quality hours together.

When we met, decided to tie the knot – I was a very different person. I had a baggage. I was a little unsure about myself. But again, your respect for and trust in me, made me a better person.
We are poles apart. We had barely anything in common. But over the years, we’ve become good friends. As I always think and tell my friends…you are my anchor. You are the thread and I am the kite. You let me fly. You let me soar high and get a better view of things. And I do so, with a trust that I am in your hands. That you’d pull me back if I enter the danger zone. If my curiosity takes me to not-so-nice-lands.

I am a loud person, I think so at least…I talk a lot. Actually cannot shut up most of the times. And you are this quiet soul whom I could make no head or tail of, in the first few months of our marriage. I just did not understand how someone can be this quiet and calm and composed! It took me a while to understand we’ve been wired differently. To the benefit of our relationship. You let me talk. You let me talk my heart out. You listen. And that means a lot to me. I wonder what would’ve happened if both of us kept talking with no one to hear!

With you, I do not have to pretend. With you, I can get upset, sulk, be happy, crazy and be a true Gemini. And you handle all of that with such grace that am so in love with you. Your subtlety…I love it now. Your honesty, am in awe of it.

You have helped me unlearn a lot of lessons from the past. And you have turned me into a much better person in my own eyes (if not in front of others). You gave me my wings of freedom. You believe in me and stand by me. I am a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother (three roles more from what I played five years ago), yet I feel free. And that’s only coz of you.

You deserve beautiful days, especially birthdays. I hope to gift you beautiful days always. You deserve happiness and peace.

They say, a woman’s most treasured ornament is her man’s love. You are truly my most precious ornament. You make my soul peaceful and happy.

Happy birthday, Kiran. Love you.

 

10 Day Challenge - Day Six

Where did my original Day 6 post go? I've been hunting, but in vain.

Looks like I've lost it...So, here I am typing it out again.
And this comes up as the first post, in the wrong order :P

Five foods...

I am so not a foodie! But I love cooking and feeding others..
So, my take on five foods will be the five dishes I enjoy cooking. Cooking is therapautic for me.

1. Brewing Chai - I could never live without chai and brewing it for myself at least once in a day. Drinking chai is alike a ritual for me. Silence, space, chai and me...

2. Baking - Aah! This is such a recent favourite, but looks it will remain so forever. Baking cakes and breads...I have only tried bread once and it was so good. My home smelt beautiful...Baking cakes are my favourite. It turns out my daughter and I, enjoy baking together!

3. Making Chapathi and dal - Making chapathi helps me feel normal. Atta, onions, tomatoes, the mess involved...all of if helps me feel normal.

4. Making desserts - Custard, jelly, puddings, payasam...all of it.!

5.  Making sambar - I've noticed, the smell of sambar makes me happy. I wonder why though. Even as I typed this out!??

Cheers
R 

10 Day Challenge - Day Nine

Two songs…

Yet again, I can’t name just two songs.

The ones that come to my mind instantly, right now, are Sun raha hain na from Ashiqui 2 and Re Kabira from Yeh Jawani Hain Diwani.

I loved the pain, the emotion, the need, desperation in that song from Ashiqui 2. The mail rendering that is. Recently, I had this chat with a close friend of mine and I kept telling him wah wah. He said, he’ll listen to it and still couldn’t figure what was so great about it. And then we realised, he was listening to the female voice and me to the male one. So, yes! The male one is definitely better.

And Re Kabira – I just relate to it so much, at this point in time. The one to follow his dreams leaving behind everything else. His need to do it. The fact that he cannot let go off his dreams and heart’s voice. No matter what he has to face. How many of us can be him? How many of us listen to our hearts and fight for it??

I connect with the emotions the singer exhibits through his/her voice and the lyrics...

I could listen to these songs in a loop for day together!

Cheers

R

10 Day Challenge - Day Eight

Oh yes! I had all of this typed out over a few days and now I post them all together!

Three films.

Yet again, another tough one.

But, I am not giving up.  Let me try. Am sure this one will not be a true true list, coz I savor movies just for the moment and most often, it passes by me. 

1.      Asthitva: Saw this one a long time ago. With Tabu as a protagonist, I just looked up to the character she played. The rawness her character oozed…that’s reality.

2.      Kai Po Che: I recently saw this movie and fell in love with it. The characters were so natural…beautiful music and definitely a beautiful movie than the book itself.

3.      Ashiqui 2: Went for this one recently, just for the music and I fell in love with the characters, the story, the music and came out of the movie hall smiling. Feeling time worth spent. 

Does this sound good? Lame? Ok ok?

Whatever!

Cheers

R :)

10 Day Challenge - Day Seven

Ok, I did not fare too well on this. But am getting back on the train. So, here it goes: Four books This is a very very tough one. As I cannot pick just four from the whole lot I’ve read so far… But, such instances are necessary, I reckon. To be able to select, prioritize in life. So, here I try: 1. The Bhagawat Gita: Yes, this is the book that has changed my outlook to life. Started reading this when I was in 8th standard, I reckon. Then, it was simply a habit. To read it alongside, when we chanted our prayers once the diya was lit in the evening. Slowly, I went on to read the meanings listed below the versus. Again, it became a habit. And then, I cannot pin point exactly when it began affecting me, influencing me. But today, I know – whatever I am, is majorly as a result of that book. Am glad to be influenced. If you have the time and inclination, read it. At the least once. With the meaning in a language you understand. 2. The Zahir: Aah, this one was a savior. A book by one of my favorite authors – Paulo Coelho. I bought this book from a roadside vendor, during the darkest phase of my life. I just needed something to read and picked it up. And yet again, this companion told me a story. A story of love. Unconditional love. To let go. And it helped me let go. 3. The Kite Runner: A well-written, well-told story. With multiple layers of emotions flowing and a very important, yet skirted subject dealt with. I could never forget this book. 4. Dr. Brian Weiss’s books: Again, I met Weiss through his books, during the darkest days of my life. One book down, I went and got another book of his. And then the third. And fourth and it never ended, until the books did. He introduced me to a life after death. To my soul. To the journey of my soul. It was a deep subject, but I found peace in it. And find peace until this day. Cheers R

The blind spot.

This is a post for in association with CSAAM.

Kuki,

I write this as I sit in the parlour. Waiting for Angela to turn me prettier…waiting for her to do her magic. Yes, I like looking pretty. Don’t you?

But as I write this, I feel lost.

She was Nirbhaya and Damini a few months ago. Yesterday she was Gudiya, Masoom. Today she is another four-year-old, seven-year-old. Months ago she was a girl in her twenties and now, she is getting younger. Younger, from between her childhood.

 As I type this, I can’t but wonder who it will be tomorrow. And I hope there is no tomorrow. May the world end.

Kuki,  I will take you to a parlour when you are old enough. I will tell you to dress well and look beautiful always. To never let the world know your worries through your shabby clothes and unmade hair. Life is too short and precious to live in fear.

I want you to know that you have the power to say no. To scream. No matter how old you are. It might not be in our capacity to avoid barbaric acts and crimes. But similarly, no one has the right to violate you. Or anyone.

As I write this to you, I pray you never get there. But if you ever do, whoever it might be – at the hands or presence of whom you feel uncomfortable, feel free to say so. Yes, it is important that you respect elders, in fact everyone – not because they are older to you, but for their actions and thoughts. Since they are supposed to be more level-headed that you are, supposed to be more wise and experienced. But some do not learn lessons as they age, they only create lessons for others to learn from.

Kuki, I might be a paranoid mother, I might be strict now and then, I might be irrational in your eyes (though I hope not) – but trust that I will always trust you. If you feel something is not right, it is more than often correct. Respect your thoughts and feelings more than you’d be tempted to as you grow up.

This isn’t a perfect world to live in, Kuki. But I want you to. I wish I could change the minds of the violators, but I cannot. I can help you face this world. Face what might be expected. But there is a blind spot out there. I accept that realization with fear. A blind spot that could hurt you beyond repair, a blind spot that could constitute of people who love/hater/do not know. I pray you never get to that blind spot. And if you do, I hope your senses are wide open and alert then. And that I am accessible.

No touch that feels uncomfortable is right, Kuki. No matter who touches.

Never let anyone trespass you as long as you can.

Love

R