My one wish that came true and gave me immense joy....

I did not have a wish. I thought I did.

I went in search of true love.

I lost myself in that search. In that journey.

I did not get to the end of that journey. I did not realise the destination.

But yes. Half way through, I realised I was lost.

I was not even alone. To be alone, I needed to have myself.

But I did not. I had lost myself too.

I searched for me and found a chance.

Today, my marriage is that chance.

I was so new to me. Just as he was to me.

I was so different.

The me was so hurt that I lost her somewhere along that journey.

I gave us a chance. I and myself. Him and I.

To try, and live together.

My man is the wish that came true.

My man lets me live with myself. He respects us. He loves us. He accepts us.

He knows we need that space. He knows I can feel lonely, but, not lost.

I thought I wished for true love alone.

But today, I know - I wished for something I did not want to wish for.

I wished for happiness and acceptance. And love came along.

I wished for freedom and he came along.

I wished for an anchor and his love came along.

Today, I read to me, I dance for me, I play with me and I talk to me .

Today, I will not get lost.

He would never let me. And neither would I let go off myself.

A wish I never wished for.

I now know.

He is my destination and I am the journey.

He is that one wish that came true...

And brought me joy by helping me meet myself.

P.S: Preeti Shenoy, thanks for helping me write this.

"Bebasi Jurm Hai...Hausla Jurm Hai..."

Something I typed out some time ago...reposting it here:

"Bebasi Jurm Hai...Hausla Jurm Hai..."

If both weakness and determination is a crime...then, what isn't?
What about strength? Is strength a crime? Not in my world atleast...but I've heard n read quite a bit - words that try hard to prove, minds that struggle to prove that strength is a crime.

Heard of honour killing?
In a way, it's better not heard - but if you've kinda overheard it, you wouldn't be able to chuck it and walk past...like now, you've just read this out here!
So - what do you think is honour killing? Yeah! Right...Killing in the name of honour...restoration of honour thru crime! Amazing isn't it?
Na..na...thr isn't much to worry about...
Coz it's just about taking life to restore a "FAMILY's" honour...it's just about father or brother strangling the daughter/sister to death...or better still burning her alive, coz she loved someone...coz they suspected she loved someone...coz she did somethin that brought shame unto them...

Am happy in my world...in my world honour isn't about takin life...it's about giving it away...
Life doesn't begin n end with honour...but it sustains through humanity.

Will write more about this soon...need to get bak to work for now...

N yeah...just got t remians of those lines...here it goes:

"Ae sanam tere baare mein kuch sooch kar,
Apne baare mein kuch soochna jurm hai;
Bebasi jurm hai...hausla jurm hai..."

Jannath

Can't really remember when I last scribbled a poem...
But this one, I did scribble and it always remained in my heart.

Here it goes:

Jannath, mauth ki duniya mein nahin hotha…
Jannath, mauth ki duniya mein nahin hotha…
Humaare rooh ki mauth se pehle hi…jannath hotha hai.

Hum tum kya doond nikaalenge jannath ko?
Hum tum kya doond nikaalenge jannath ko?
Woh jannath jo hum mein khud kho gaya hai…

Mujhe aaj laga hai ki,
Jannath oopar hi nahin…neeche bhi hotha hai…
Neeche mere pairon mein bhi jannath hai.
Ajeeb sa khayaal hai, par sache dil se keh rahi hoon…
Mere ghunguroo ki har thadap se,
Mera jannath mere kareeb aatha hai…

:)

Coz' I am a gypsy??? Am I one?

I am here to write. To pour my heart out. I might write rubbish, maybe nothing and maybe everything I feel (which of course will only include the feelings I do not mind you reading). I will express love, cherish fond memories, talk about the ones I have accepted, openly fight with the ones I am yet to accept and cease questioning.

Thought July 1st is a nice day for a new beginning! :P
For all those of you who are wondering what is so special about the day...please note - there is nothing special about it. We just picked a date. Oh yes, 'we'. The other element that belongs to 'we' and who help me make up tat word 'we' is Tina. A close friend...or better still, a soulmate. More about her later.

This is just the beginning. Miles to go before I even feel 'I have got there'.

Bye for now. Will get back. I know I want to. I just need to feel an equally strong 'need' to.

Love you guys.
~ A gPsY