Monday, February 11, 2013

To, Kuki


Do you want me to write ‘dear’? You know you are. :)

Today is your third birthday. This also means I have completed three years of motherhood.

So, I think I will write to you. And hopefully, keep writing to you. You can start reading whenever you might be ready.

This one is about me, Kuki. About the things I have learnt and unlearnt growing up with you.

Lesson Learnt 1: My happiness depends on you. I have always been this person who needs to do things. Different things. On different days. To be happy. But now, you seem to be the trigger for me. If all is well and I think you will be fine without me, then I go about doing it. I keep aside some tasks when I figure you might not be comfortable.

Lesson Unlearnt 1: Something I never realized I learnt, in the first place. My belief in miracles. From the day you came into my life, I have considered you one. Today, I seem to believe in it more than I did when you weren’t around. Thank you, God, for this little miracle.

Lesson Learnt 2: I am not so strong when it comes to letting you away from my sight. I wonder, all the while, if you are fine and if you miss me. The latter is not necessary, though it would make me feel like a queen. But yes, I need the knowledge that you are in safe hands.

Lesson Unlearnt 2: The fact that I am an adult and cannot be a child. Being a child is about seeing through your eyes. It is about sitting down or lying down to see things, in the room, from your point of view. Today, life is all about looking at things differently for me. A little like Rashmi, a little like a parent and a little like you.

Lesson Learnt 3: I love holding you most just after you are up from your sleep in the bed. I like holding you with your cheek against mine.

Lesson Unlearnt 3: I have reassessed some of the past lessons. Not because they do not matter to me or not because I needed to. Being with you has evolved me, as a person and I seem to revisit the past and reassess. This has only made me a better human.

Lesson Learnt 4: I kind of dislike having rhymes and cartoons on television all the time. J But I shall cope. Find a way around. For you.

Lesson Unlearnt 4: I can teach you what to be and what not to be. That I can preach and bring you around.

Lesson Learnt 5: I can only show you. Be an example of either 1) what to be 2) what not to be.

Lesson Unlearnt 5: I can find ways to do things when you are asleep or playing. That will never happen. I am now discovering ways to do every other thing with you.

Will make a note of more lessons as we go past years.

Love, R

No comments:

Post a Comment